1.What is the effect of breaking the window?
If a house is broken, no one will repairs it in time.Soon after a lapse, other windows will be inexplicably broken.Maybe someone will continue to break the door, even move into trouble, set fire, until the whole house is destroyed.
This is Break the window effect, English is “Broken Windows Theory”, this theory reason James Wilson(James Q.Wilson) George Kelin(George L.Kelling) proposed in 1982.
The window-breaking effect was well-known from the public in the 1990s.New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani and police director William Bratton successfully used the window break effect to the city’s security management in New York, and the urban crime rate was effectively controlled.The following video explains the ins and outs of the winding effect in detail.
Breaking the window effect is very successful in terms of public security, economics, and so on.I want to share with you the break-up effect to cause my reflection on family education.
2.Two cases of breaking window education
Let’s share the cases of two windows break in family education.
2.1 Case One
Xiaowei is my son’s son.He is a few years younger than me.He is smart and moving, and he loves his brain.Every time he goes to the pond and grab fish than me.However, Xiao Wei is mischievous at school.His academic performance is not particularly good, and often commit crimes in schools.
My aunt is a big mouth.Everyone says that her son is not promising.If he loves it, he will always be caught one day in jail.As far as I know, my relatives basically listened to her similar to her.
As a result, Xiao Wei really abandoned himself, and he was wrong.At first, it was a stealing dish and a fish in the pond.Later, when he went to high school, he went to the highway behind the school to rob long-distance drivers on the highway behind the school.He was finally caught in labor camp for several years.
Now I come back and think about it.Aunt, while you are secretly glad to “successful predictions”, do you realize that you are the person who breaks the first window?
2.2 Case 2
My friend’s neighbors are particularly quarreling, and their voice is particularly loud.They are so loud that they are shouting in the house.There can be echo in the valley opposite.
When I saw this old couple for the first time, they were all in their seventy years.
My friend explained to me that the two of them were famous for their quarrels.Everyone in Fangyuan knew them, and their two sons and daughter-in -law also liked to quarrel.Most of the grandson men were angry and could not get along well.
I think this kind of bad temper has been passed down from generation to generation, did someone break the first window?
3.Case analysis
Breaking the window effect is fundamentally Passive choice Essence
When a person does not have strong self-esteem or values, his choice is often easily affected by the surrounding things.This is a passive choice.
When I was young, I was also very naughty.The Chinese teacher was very severe to me and always criticized me.I also didn’t like Chinese teachers, so that I deliberately did not learn Chinese language and desperately learned mathematics.As a result, I could n’t speak Chinese.one.
I successfully proved the “poor” of the teaching level of Chinese teachers to the world, but I made a passive choice very unfortunately.
When we see a broken window, there is an invisible force that will promote us to destroy another window, which is also a passive choice.
- In the first case, my aunt broke Xiaowei’s first window, so that everyone believed that Xiao Wei was not a good child.Over time, Xiaowei also accepted this conclusion.Harm in society.
- The second case is more representative.The husband and wife relationship is not good, there is no love, no respect for each other, so that the children can open a window that can disrespect others.As a result, the tragedy is repeated, and even worse.
Similar tragedies can be seen everywhere around us.The root cause of this passive choice lies in the lack of restraints of people’s behavior, and the lack of this constraint comes from independent and complete values or lack of self-esteem systems.
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4.Fighting Micro Dujie
Below I analyze how to prevent the occurrence of window breaks in combination with family education issues.
First, educate children not to be the first person to break the window.
The child is a copy of the parents.The problem of photocopy comes from the original instead of the copy process.Most of the children’s world views and basic behavior rules come from the simple follow-up of parents’ behavior.
Parents should transmit love to their children, so that they know how to love others, love this society, respect to respect, and be a responsible person.In this way, the children have the standard of restraining their behavior, so that they will not do things that endanger society, and they will not take the initiative to break the first window.
Second, cultivate children’s independent and complete self-esteem systems to prevent passive choices.
The self-esteem system includes three parts: self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth.
The independent and complete self-esteem system refers to a person with stable, universal, conforming to human nature.Once there is independent and complete values, people’s behavior is not easily affected by the outside world.Even if we see a broken glass, we will not destroy another window.
Steven Covey said that the ultimate freedom of the people is the choice.However, when people receive external stimuli, they tend to give up choices.The main reason is that they lack an independent and complete self-esteem system.
If I had a stable values when I was a kid, I would not learn Chinese because I didn’t like Chinese teachers.At the same time, Xiao Wei would not abandon self-esteem because I was misunderstood.
This independent and complete self-esteem system comes from the love of parents and the educationalization of examples.
Third, cultivate children’s sense of social responsibility and help others repair the broken windows.
Alfred Adler said in the book “Inferiority and Excellence” that the meaning of life is based on the contribution to the lives of others.Once our lives can be shared by everyone and accepted by others, we can achieve surpassing ourselves.
When we see a destroyed window, if we can actively repair this window, the fate of this house will be different because of us, and the significance of our lives will be perceived.
Alfred Adler said that in the face of the three major tasks in life is occupation, society, and sex, it is destined that we need to cooperate with others.Our happiness comes from the praise and affirmation of others, so only when we contribute to others are the happiest.
In family education, parents need to cultivate children’s sense of social responsibility.Not only can we not actively or passively destroy the society, we also need to actively protect our society, so that the meaning of our lives can be sublimated.
Recommended reading: “How to talk to children and determine children’s life: What is effective companion”
5.Write at the end
Family education is the most important factor affecting a child’s growth.
Parents need to give children unconditional love, and at the same time make necessary guidance on their moral standards.
If everyone in our society has stable values, I think we will not take the initiative to destroy any windows and go back to repair the broken windows.
Parent’s smart series articles
- The wisdom of parents (1) Family education reflection on family education of the window break
- The wisdom of the parents… 2) humility and admitting their imperfections
- The wisdom of parents (3) Game addiction is not the child’s fault
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